Check out this Craigslist posting for the position of a “Copy-Writer.” Not only must you be a refined grammarian, a punk with punctuation and have an eye for diction - but you must also feel comfortable defending for your life between the hours of 6:30 pm and 10:30 pm. But, don’t worry, you won’t have to carry a gun.
Some of the more amusing statements are also underlined:
Copy writer - marketing materials - $18/hour (American University/Tenleytown)
Reply to: job-716844518@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-06-11, 10:54PM EDT
Are you looking for an exciting opportunity make a real impact with your business and marketing writing talents? A dynamic, entrepreneurial for-profit college in Northwest DC is looking for an experienced copy writer and desktop publisher to lead aspects of both internal and external written communications.
To apply: Provide a resume and the following writing sample to demonstrate your abilities. (This is the type of thing we’ll ask you to write, so if this doesn’t interest you at all, you shouldn’t apply) Draft an email that we could send to a student that has taken several courses at our college, but who has withdrawn, encouraging that student to come back and continue her studies.
The details: You will report directly to the Senior Vice President of Sales and Marketing and will be responsible for writing, editing and proofreading a wide range of print and online materials including content for our web site, emails to students, and other marketing materials.
The twist: while you are writing copy you will also fill the role of security guard, working 6:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday. We will buy your uniform. You won’t carry a gun. Applicants must be able to pass a drug screen as well as a criminal background check. The security guard spends most of the shift seated at the reception desk, and there will be very minimal security duties. Practically the entire shift you will be able to focus on writing copy – you’ll just happen to be wearing a uniform.
Side note: “Practically the entire shift you will be able to focus on writing copy” - EXCUSE ME? How do you expect me to write copy, (or is it copy write, not sure what job they want at this point) - if there is a possible chance of threats to my security at any given moment! Hello - why would you need an extra security guard, that is NOT paying attention to security - but rather the emails to students who may or may not be attending the college. Hmmm…..
The ideal candidate will bring a BA or BS Degree in Journalism, Communications, English or other Liberal Arts degrees. Candidates who are currently working on such a degree will be considered. The candidate should be fluent in desktop publishing and should be familiar with technical and non-technical writing standards, style manuals and proofreaders’ marks.
Required Abilities:
Experience writing, editing, proofing and the production of internal and external communications in a business to business environment.
Ability to distinguish and adapt writing for the various contexts of print and web.
Demonstration of effective coordination and collaboration with others, including internal customers, graphic design professionals and team members.
Demonstrate excellent oral communication skills.
Strong formatting skills in Word other MS Office programs are essential.
A strong interest in learning new editorial and social media outlets and writing for such mediums.
Prior desktop publishing experience.
Preferred Experience * A proven track record with external communications for marketing objectives
Proven track record for writing high-impact marketing collateral such as brochures, data sheets, feature sheets, emails, proposals and case studies.
Technical Capabilities * Proficiency in MS Office (especially Word, PowerPoint, Excel, and Outlook)
Adobe InCopy
Desktop publishing applications
Internet research tools
Subscription research services (Lexis-Nexis, Factiva, etc.)
Equal opportunity employer. Drug-free workplace.
Sigh. This post, like so many other job posts out there just simply asks too much from a post-college Journalism major. Hello - you are hiring someone who JUST graduated from college and those are your set of requirements? Let’s just say if we majored in Journalism, do you really think that a) we want to be a part-time Security Guard or b) we want to use our college degree to go BACK to college and try to convince people who don’t want to be there, to actually come back and register?
This, my friends, is truly absurd.
