In the midst of this very competitive primary election season, there has to be time to sit back and reflect on the things that really matter. Such as the food safety of Japan’s biggest cultural export: Sushi.
When the news hit New Yorkers that their sushi supply had unsettling amounts of mercury, candidates came to the rescue and promised to fix the fishy situation once elected into office.
Barack Obama: Sushi Ready for Change - No More Red and Blue Fish
“Unlike other candidates, I have been saying since 2002 that we were headed down a disastrous road with our sushi policy,” Senator Barack Obama said. “But what we need now is a president who will not use this crisis just to scare up votes.”
“We need a president who can get past the tired, old partisan divisions that pit one kind of fish against another,” Mr. Obama said. “It’s fine to get the mercury out of tuna. But all fish are in this together. We can’t rest until we have safe sushi of all types, all across this great land. To those who say we aim too high, we say, ‘Yes, we can.’ ”
John Edwards: Sushi Safety Splits Middle Class
“We have to stand up for the millions of impoverished Americans who go to bed every night unable even to dream about tuna sushi,” he said. “This is the other America, not the fat cats plunking down $400 at places like Masa in New York.”
“We need to speak up for the little guy,” Mr. Edwards said, “the guy who gets mercury poisoning and then sits for hours in a hospital emergency room because he can’t afford health insurance.”
Dennis Kucinich: Fish Kills All, Go Vegan
“Americans should throw away the slice of fish (tuna, salmon or yellowtail — they’re all the same) and eat just the rice ball with a dash of wasabi.”
Hillary Rodham Clinton: The False Hopes of Sushi
“Experience counts, and I’ve been eating sushi almost since that transforming day when I heard Martin Luther King speak in person.”
“But I can promise,” Mrs. Clinton said, “that on Day One, I will be ready for action.
Bill Clinton: Sushi, Like Politics, Served Best With A Spin
“Don’t believe these fairy tales,” Mr. Clinton said. “But don’t roll the dice, either. The mercury isn’t a problem if ingested in small doses. Hillary and I are urging all you good people who love tuna maki to cut it into little pieces. Dice the roll.”
John McCain: Bad Sushi Could Never Affect Former War Hero
“I’m too old to be scared,” he said. “My friends, we’ve been through hard times before, but we can overcome this transcendent challenge. I don’t have to tell you, my friends, about my years in Asia. I have the experience, my friends, to handle this sushi ordeal.”
Mitt Romney: Lock Down Ocean Currents from Terrorist Tuna
“It’s all that immigrant fish,” he said. “We’re not controlling our borders. I promise you that on my watch we will not be a sanctuary for dangerous foreign tuna.”
Mike Huckabee: God Says Don’t Eat Sushi
“Nowhere does the Bible mention sushi in the Garden of Eden,” he said. “Give me that old-time cuisine. If it was good enough for Adam and Eve, it’s good enough for me.”
Rudy Guliani: Sushi Not Cause of 9/11, But Be On Guard
“I’ve heard some pretty absurd explanations for the attack, but not that one,” Mr. Giuliani said. Still, “this is a very, very serious problem,” he said, “and I don’t want to minimize how very, very important it is. But trust me, Sept. 11 was a lot worse.”
