One of the best meme-LOLs of my day is poking lighthearted fun at Wilford Brimley. Sure, you know who Wilford Brimley is - he’s the elderly gent that graces the telly with the diabetes awareness ads. While we appreciate the awareness he creates about the disease, he still deserves a bit of a roast by the fine individuals here at Absurdities!
Hi Wilford. You see, Wilford is a good man. Living a lifetime of activism and self funding most of his efforts, its very easy to respect this kind sir. He’ll be at the pearly gates, no doubt.
But… you can’t get away with pronouncing diabetes “diabeetus” on television and not get meme maimed. Sorry, Wilford.
Admittedly I am a fan of Facebook. I still prefer it to Myspace. Even so, it is very hard to side with all of the silliness that has been added to it in the past year. It’s a lot like watching a celebrity fall apart, because at one point you could have said that Facebook was simple, beautiful and worth one’s time. It reminded us of our salad days in college. But alas today, the thrill of “poking” is fading away and it is becoming painfully amusing to see how badly things are transpiring for our old friend, the FB.
Additionally, the video below sums up the absurd add-ons and apps that have turned college students’ favorite ’soc net’ into EVERYONE’S favorite ’suck net.’
Pokémon is supposed to represent an imaginary world of turn-based competitive combat… not an urban underworld of recklessly anonymous turn-based competitive sexplay.
Reports of a weekly underage Pokémon sex orgy phenomenon in Chile broke today. You couldn’t remove ANY of those keywords to make that sound any less terrible. This is one of the few cases where brand loyalty and retaining your key demographic are bad, bad things.
The teens call their public orgies ‘ponceo.’ On a typical Friday afternoon in the Chilean capital of Santiago, hundreds gather in a leafy urban park for a few hours of sexual experimentation. Surrounded by passing strollers, they trade partners multiple times—mostly engaging in anonymous rounds of oral sex. When the party is over, no contact information is exchanged. Same-gender interactions are commonplace, as the lines between hetero- and homosexuality are blurred, partly by the alcohol and drugs consumed, but also by shifting social mores held by Chilean youth, in contrast to their conservative parents. “Ponceo is about having fun,” says Natalia Fernandez, a 15-year-old with pink hair and a pierced chin. “This time I had seven partners.“
Seven? Come back when you mean business, Natalia. You’re the team’s weakest link.
[When questioned, Pikachu just held a silent, cold stare. Squirtle appeared to understand what we were saying, and became generally excitable]
In the faux category of “Oops - I accidentally became a super popular product,” I highlight the McDonald’s Shamrock Shake. After a prolonged absence from North American lips for five years, the time has come for its return @ your local McD’s in the month of March.
What? Ok. First off - this shammy shake has been 100% buzz and word of mouth, as McD’s advertising hasn’t registered a blip on my radar. But, just because a tree fell in the forest and no one heard it doesn’t mean it didn’t fall:
Once upon a time, McDonald’s decided to celebrate St. Patrick’s day by offering a special, seasonal shake that would of course be - green. Its composed of your standard vanilla shake + green food coloring + minty extracts. So, it tastes quite minty.
In the 80s and early 90s, the Shamrock Shake would be available leading up to St. Patty’s day and sometimes stick around for the month of March. Here is the ad you may have seen if you were paying attention:
Ahem. Yes. But the absurdity continues, as for a short while, there even existed a character named Uncle O’ Grimacey (big purple Grimace’s uncle) in McDonaldLand. Living in Ireland, Uncle O’ Grimacey would come over and visit Grimace for one month of each year to promote the Shamrock Shake. Here’s his ultra rare TV spot:
We do not know what we have until its gone, apparently. With the Shamrock Shake being discontinued for a few years, fond, minty memories and the social media environment have done what they can to keep the spirit of Uncle O’ Gee and the Shamrock Shake alive. None of these sites are affiliated with McD’s.
After calling a few days in advance to make sure my local McD’s was rockin’ the Shamrock Shake, I went with two other co-workers to try it out. Almost as if on cue, when we asked for the Shamrock Shake, the guy behind the counter gave a ridiculously devilish laugh (and really weirded us out). He laughed at all three of us, each time the creepiness of the situation mounting. It was like he knew our fates from that moment onward. One of the shakes we received wasn’t a Shamrock Shake, we had to exchange it…
Three Shamrock Shakes in a row - how do you mess up that order?
Maybe you don’t. Was he trying to save us from it? What does he know that we don’t? It tasted great in our opinion. The thought of getting another one excites me, and I want to learn more about it. But I don’t - know - why.
As if underage birthday parties, animatronic make-believe bands and a rat-trepreneur spokesperson weren’t enough excitement, a fight broke out between two angry mothers at a Chuck E. Cheese’s this weekend. It seems that while the young child was celebrating just a mere 9 years of age, the mother’s took the opportunity to channel their tantrum years too.
The unsanctioned ‘brawl pit’ unfolded in the birthday room:
NATICK, Mass. (AP) — A child’s birthday party at a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant was cut short after a fight broke out between two mothers. Natick police said the mom of the 9-year-old birthday boy apparently became enraged because the other woman’s son was “hogging” an arcade game.
Sgt. Paul Thompson said Catherine Aliaga, 38, and Tarsha Williams, 33, both of Boston, would be summoned into court to answer charges of simple assault and battery stemming from the scuffle.
Thompson told the MetroWest Daily News that police received a number of 911 calls about the fight Saturday night.
He said what started as a birthday celebration turned into a “birthday melee.”
Above - Helen Henny, Mr. Munch, Jasper The Hillbilly Hound Dog, and Pasqually Pieplate aren’t programmed to deal with violence.
A testament to their professionalism, they execute every pre-programmed motion and never miss a…
