Sex Goes To Washington

Today, I got the chance to start a discussion with the members of WIPT about two of my favorite things: Politics & Sex and the City.

With the SATC movie premiere and a potential decision about the Democratic Presidential nominee all happening this weekend - it seemed only natural to intertwine the two subjects.

In a conversation dissecting HRC’s seemingly misogynistic approach to the campaign trail, a few of us thought it might be a good idea for future female politicians to take notes from the oh-so-sassy females of Sex and the City - especially when it comes to hitting a target voter demographic.

“We can’t remember the last time a movie has created so much anticipation among female moviegoers from their 20s through their 40s,” said Harry Medved, a spokesman for Fandango, the online movie ticket site.

If Hillary chose to act a little bit more like Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda - could she have taken the nomination for the Presidency? It’s hard to tell - but certainly something to think about as we try and push more female leaders into the political spotlight.

But then - within discussion about powerful females using stillettos to get elected - a catalytic idea was suggested by a wise Courtney Sieloff - how about actually getting women registered to vote while they attend the SATC premieres over the weekend….???

Brilliant, right? Actually, it was.

Only the women of WIPT could take an idea in an email exchange and turn it into a call to action. Per Courtney’s suggestion, Heather Cronk got in touch with Maya Enista, the CEO of Mobilize.org, and a small movement was born:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Christina Gagnier, Chief Information Officer

Mobilize.org - (510) 717-3022
MAY 29, 2008

“Sex and The City, and a side of Voter Registration”

Join Mobilize.org staff and volunteers across the country in an evening at the movies, with a side of voter registration. When you go see Sex and the City (or Indiana Jones) this weekend, please print out a couple copies of the National Voter Registration form (PDF) and ask those in front of you, and behind you, in line at the movie theater if they are registered to vote. If not, ask them to! That site also includes information on how to turn in forms, and the Mobilize.org staff (if on-site) will be more than happy to collect and process the forms for you.

Take a picture, take your friends and send us texts or pictures and we’ll post them online and hopefully, we’ll be able to connect you with one another in cities around the country. To sign up, or for more information – please email movies@mobilize.org. We’ll be giving out prizes, including popcorn and movie tickets for your next show, t-shirts and CD’s!

Have a great weekend, and enjoy the show!

PS – If they don’t want to fill out the form in line, please remind them they can visit www.mobilize.org and use our Rock The Vote registration widget to register to vote online in the comfort of their own home!

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So - if you’re a lady in love with politics and Sex like me - make sure to not only take your attitude to the box office this weekend, but also your ballot.

Japan: Absurdities Capital of the World

After discussing the true absurdity behind the solar powered bras made in Japan, a knowledgeable bystander noted that Japan is home to many other absurd inventions and ideas - particularly when it comes to  vending machines. According to Wikipedia, Japan has the highest number of vending machines per capita, with about one machine for every 23 people. Macy’s just announced today that it is going to attract Japanese consumers by selling its products via vending machine as well.  While, vending machines in Japan have been noted by many an absurdity aficionado - I feel that it is time to offer my own homage to the large, rectangular, electric stores that has taken over the retail sector in Japan:

Vending product: Panties Worn by School Girls

Vending product: Fried Chicken and French Fries

Vending product: Playing cards, camera film and maybe a snack, or two.

Vending product: Debauchery on the go - cigarettes and alcohol

Apparently - it’s even cool to dress up as a vending machine to avoid petty theft:

San Franpsycho

Well, I made it to San Francisco. Before arriving in SF last Wednesday, however, I left San Diego for a quick trip through rush hour traffic to Los Angeles to visit an old friend. I walked along the beach in Santa Monica and did some much needed outdoor shopping along the 3rd St. Promenade. Once my friend got off work, we hit up MAO’s - a BYOB Chinese food restaurant in Venice Beach. After dinner, I scooted down to Long Beach to stay at a friend’s penthouse apartment in attempts to avoid morning L.A. traffic patterns and be a little closer to San Diego. I arrived in Long Beach around 10:30 PM and was hoping to hit up a Latin Salsa bar, but the surf city had already gone to bed.  Instead, I spent the evening with my friend playing “F*ck the Dealer” and drinking 100-year-old aged tequila from the Patrón Agave Farm in Mexico. This would be the second, out of three nights that I got to know the lovely taste of the Agave plant a little too well. Please, if you see me, do not offer me a lime, salt, or anything resembling the liquor - I might vomit. 

I left Long Beach at a painfully early hour (7:30 am) and drove back to San Diego in my brother’s beat up SUV that had a malfunctioning gas gage and tended to shake a little if you turned a corner too quickly. When I finally arrived back in SD, I grabbed my bags and heading to the airport. I arrived in San Francisco that afternoon and I have been enjoying my lovely hometown for the past five days. In true absurdity fashion, I decided to share some thoughts about this crazy city by the bay:

#1: Weirdos, weirdos, everywhere. I swear SF is home to some of the strangest, but often coolest people I have ever met. Everyone is in their own crazy world - and we, the “normal” ones are just supposed to sit back and be amused with it all. More often than not, I really enjoy the hilarious and random interactions with SF folk - it always keeps things interesting. Today, for example, I was wandering through this Cambodian Buddhist shop on Haight St. This really tall dude, with a long gnarly beard and thick black framed sunglasses and a bowling hat was following the Cambodian shop keeper around and asking if he could translate things from English into Cambodian for them (why would he ask her that?). Once she politely said “No, honey,” he then said, “Gosh, I really love the music in here,” and started bouncing his heels and singing along to the music which resembled some kind of Buddhist chant. The dude was peaceful and chill - but seemed totally lost in life. He just kept wandering in circles around the store. I wondered what he would do after he had completely annoyed the cute Cambodian shop ladies (and then also how many different drugs he was on). 

#2 - The produce is amazing. People used to ask me what I missed most about California - and I always said, “the produce.” Not my family, not my friends, but the freaking tomatoes and avocados and yummy greens that are so readily accessible everywhere you go. This was also when I was still a vegetarian, so maybe it was a weird survival thing. But in general, the food in SF is superb. This past week I swear I’ve gained five pounds because of constant consumption of everything delicious. I really think that between the excellent Asian, Mexican and healthy California cuisine - the food on the West Coast just beats the East Coast plate in every single capacity. Oh, except for New York pizza - SF can’t beat that.

#3 Creativity Rules. One thing I do miss about living in SF is how freaking creative and cool the people, things, and places are. Everywhere you go there is a diversity of fashion - punks, tattoos, red hair, purple hair, dread locks, mohawks, converse sneakers, stripper heels, wild earrings, etc. People in SF are a unique breed and at least in my neighborhood, the Haight-Ashbury, there isn’t a duplicate person in sight. Throughout the city there are also beautiful murals, buildings, shops, bars and random acts of art. One building downtown has all the furniture bolted to the outside. One restaurant, Cafe Gratitude, is a raw food joint where their menu options are presented as affirmations such as the “I am Beautiful! (Sandwich).” The waiters then serve you your meal and say, “You are beautiful!” I’ve also already shared on Absurdities! my appreciation for the fabulous pirate store at 826 Valencia - another SF gem - and the pillow fight on Valentines Day. Additionally, the Bay to Breakers just occurred about a week ago and some of the stories made me wish I had planned my trip West a little earlier. A few of my male friends created a “Mustache Ride” for the race where they all grew foo manchu mustaches, wore tiny cut off jean shorts with no shirts and then roped themselves together for the 7 mile run. If only I had been there to witness it - and potentially run alongside with some other sort of atrocious outfit on. (Or, in true Bay to Breakers fashion, no outfit at all).

Sadly, I leave tonight to go back to the East Coast and continue my absurdity observations from the 202 area code. It has certainly been fun to switch it up and report on the fun traveling adventures over the past week from the West Coast. Cheers!

Californiabsurdities

Well, it is about time that Absurdities! hit the road and went on gypsy-diva rejuvenation. After surviving the long winter, this Dionysian Princess decided to pack up and return to her roots: the great state of California.

For the first leg of the trip, I am in San Diego, CA visiting my debauchery-loving, younger brother. After a few days in SoCal, I will then hit up my hometown, San Francisco. I thought it fair to offer my readers an update from the West Coast, to mix it up a bit.

Now, I’ve lived in Washington, DC for about five years (gasp!), but I still consider myself much of a West Coast breed. So far, my trip has proven to me that I have been away for much too long.

Here are the following notes I have taken as a East Coast convert visiting the SoCal society:

# 1 - Everyone here is far too happy. Yes, that may seem like a weird statement. But as someone who enjoys the pure schaudenfreude in life - I feel like I have met my match here in San Diego. Literally - everything appears to be perfect. And as a result, everyone appears to be very happy, relaxed and strangely satisfied with life. It is making me quite nervous.

# 2 - No shirts, no shoes, all good! Now, I may have grown up in California and went to high school eight blocks from the beach - but that was in San Francisco. Lots of fog and well, it rarely got past 75 degrees. Clothing was never really optional. In fact, we used to laugh at tourists who wore shorts and then had to scramble to buy an overpriced novelty sweatshirt when the fog rolled in. But down in SoCal, the land of the sun, I have seen more bare skin than at a strip club. Nearly every room I walk into is full of shirtless men. The women either wear a bathing suit with some sort of qualifying “clothing” such as cut-off jeans or a tank top that stretches just past their bottom. It is semi-alarming, but may also encourage me to start running a bit more.

# 3 - Making a fortune with Fortune Telling. It is quite a mystery as to how people actually afford to live around here. There isn’t a very visible business district in any of the coastal towns and knowing that the housing prices are unreasonably high, it makes you wonder how exactly people make enough money to live. Especially, since the majority of people seem to spend their time in a life of leisure - surfing, running, or tanning. The only prominent businesses I’ve seen so far surround the psychic-fortune telling-astrology industry. In the past three days I’ve seen four fortune tellers, three psychics and crossed paths with dozens of astrology books. My only thought is that seeing into the future, must bring prosperity for the citizens of Southern California.

# 4 - The sun is indeed stronger than the fluorescent lights in my office. Perhaps the most noticeable difference between SoCal and Washington, DC is the weather. After surviving yet another East Coast winter and torrential Spring rainstorms, I felt the need to spend some time outdoors upon arriving to the 80 degree dry heat, beautiful San Diego weather. What I did not realize, however, is that since I spend a majority of my time under fluorescent lights, my skin was not prepared for the sun. Within the first twelve hours of my visit, I incurred a serious sun burn, a bit of a shock to the system. My lack of time outdoors lately made me forget to apply sunscreen to my pale Irish skin. I should have known better, but I was also under the silly impression that being outside during the hours of 9 am to 11 am would somehow be less offensive. Unfortunately, when it comes to the sun, being ill-prepared will cost you. I currently resemble a distant cousin of the pink flamingo. I guess I’ll just call it a “base tan.”

She’s Electric

Besides wanting to title a blog post after my personal favorite 1995 Oasis Song “She’s Electric” - I also want to bring your attention to the latest invention in the world of environmentally sustainable fashion:

Solar Powered Bras

Yes, that’s right. You can now feel good about saving the environment in places you never thought possible. By using your bust to build energy, you can generate enough electricity to charge a mobile phone or an iPod. You can be a portable battery in sizes A-D.

Obviously, this absurd invention was created in Japan - where the limited space for power plants has made the island pay serious homage to the sun by using solar power wherever and whenever possible.

Now the bra has yet to hit stores as it requires light to generate electricity. (And well, walking around in your underwear has yet to take off in Japan - we won’t count Sumo wrestlers).

But, according to the Lingerie maker Triumph International, the idea that “lingerie could possibly save the planet” is something worth thinking about. In my mind, solar powered bras create just the sort of sex appeal that the Green Movement might be looking for, but as far as logistics go - bikini’s might be more appropriate.

Metamucil to Ovaltine: What’s Your 20?

Nearly a month has passed since GOP Presidential candidate John McCain was forced to receive Secret Service protection as he continues his way along the campaign trail. With his tough guy, war-hero persona officially upstaged by the SS, it is time now to start speculating what his codename will be and how it will measure up to the SS political codename hall of fame. My democrat political friends started a rather humorous discussion about the whole thing, suggesting that McCain take on code names such as “Metamucil,” “Matlock,” “Ovaltine,” “Tempestuous,” and “Ho Chi Minh.” I personally think something like “Granddaddy” might also be appropriate.

Past POTUS and FLOTUS have taken on the following alias’ to protect their identities, which turns out to be a rather amusing list:

John F. Kennedy - Lancer or Dazzle
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis - Lace
Caroline Kennedy - Lyric
Lyndon Johnson - Volunteer
Lady Bird Johnson - Victoria
Richard Nixon - Searchlight
Pat Nixon - Starlight
Gerald Ford - Pass Key
Betty Ford - Pinafore
Ronald Reagan - Rawhide
Nancy Reagan - Rainbow
George H. W. Bush- Timberwolf
Barbara Bush - Snowbank or Tranquility
Bill Clinton - Eagle or Elvis
Chelsea Clinton - Energy
George W. Bush - Tumbler or Trailblazer
Laura Bush - Tempo

I find this list rather hilarious and a great means to subplot Secret Service communications.

Apparently, with the Kennedy’s it was all about making the enemy believe that the most important United States matters was resembling a Broadway show:

“Dazzle and Lace are on the stage! Where is the lyric? Make sure to keep the lights on, so we can see the Dazzle.”

And then with the Nixon’s, perhaps a nursery rhyme from time to time:

“Starlight, Searchlight, The first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might …”

So what will the Secret Service code names of the 2008 Presidential Campaign tell us?

Your Baby Is Too Cool For (Pre)School

I always thought kids were anarchists. But with these hilarious outfits from The Retro Baby Store - Generation Z Babies are about to “go off their rockers” even more. Pre-school teachers beware!

Party At My Crib!

I like to hit the bottle!

That’s how I roll!

Nothing Says Loser Like a 404 Page

Ok, maybe the headline is a bit mean - but come on HRC - the time has come for you to step out of the primary race and let my man Obama enjoy his time in the sun! After the amazing turnout in Indiana and the Obama victory in North Carolina last night, I am one enthusiastic Obama supporter. And this little piece of propaganda sent to me by Mr. Andre Blackman nearly made me fall off my chair:

Take A (Coffee) Break

Aha! A new favorite holiday! World Fair Trade Day - the largest coffee break ever! What a beautiful idea - let’s bring all the over caffeinated souls together, get hopped up on caffeine and try to change the world!

Actually, the event looks pretty cool and meaningful (unlike most of the things I write about):

World Fair Trade Day

Saturday, May 10, 2008
3:00 PM - 5:00 PM
Cafe Collage
1346 T Street, NW, Washington, DC

Fair Trade Certified™ coffee and other samples of fairly-traded products will be distributed, including Fair Trade Certified™ sugar and chocolate, provided by Alter Eco USA, Fair Trade Certified™ Numi Teas, and Sencha Natural’s Green Tea Mints and Green Tea Bars, with Fair Trade Certified™ green tea extract and Liz Lovely cookies and snacks with Fair Trade Certified™ ingredients. A special screening of the film “Black Gold,” a documentary about global coffee trade, will be played throughout the afternoon.

Missing the Point

Grammarphobs unite in the true absurdity of this sign:

How about we get the English language down first before demanding it as the official language of the United States? Sigh.