Library Turns Into Shelter for Homeless Student

Well, my alma mater never ceases to amaze me with its consistent care and concern for its students.

Reported in The Hatchet, the independent newspaper for The George Washington University, a student who was kicked out of housing found refuge in Gelman Libary, affectionately known as the Gmonster, Geldizzle or G-club to those who spent too many hours under its harsh fluorescent lights. It has never, however, been called, “Home Sweet Home” - until now.

The Freshman student was waiting for clearance of student loans and scholarships before the University kicked him out on the street.

Despite GW ’s label as the Most Expensive University in the World, it could not assist this student in finding alternative housing after being evicted from his dorm room due to an inability to pay his room and board. He reportedly moved in with some friends before relegating his existence to a comfy red couch on the 6th Floor of the library.

Still, GW faced this issue head on with a sense of “compassion.” The director of Student Judicial Services said with authority about the situation: “You cannot live in Gelman. That can’t be the place where you sleep.”  Wow - no shit, Sherlock.

Now sadly, this situation doesn’t surprise me in the least. As a former GW student, I readily castigated the University for its seemingly callous treatment of its students. Half the reason I think the tuition is so high at GW is because it lacks a generous endowment, a reflection in my mind of the fact that many students feel disenfranchised and disappointed by the time they pay the $100 fee to graduate.

Not Absurd, But Perhaps Ironic

This year in Washington, DC several bands are playing for free on the National Mall to celebrate our dearly beloved, Pachamama, for Earth Day 2008.

Ironically enough, one of my favorite bands - The Roots - is playing on the National Mall, on Earth Day, which falls on 4/20. Talk about going green. I’ll be riding Free Spirit (my bike) to the event just to make the whole thing even more ridiculous. Here’s the info for the Green Apple Festival.

 

It’s not me, it’s your face… (book)

By Pyecraft

Admittedly I am a fan of Facebook. I still prefer it to Myspace. Even so, it is very hard to side with all of the silliness that has been added to it in the past year. It’s a lot like watching a celebrity fall apart, because at one point you could have said that Facebook was simple, beautiful and worth one’s time. It reminded us of our salad days in college. But alas today, the thrill of “poking” is fading away and it is becoming painfully amusing to see how badly things are transpiring for our old friend, the FB.

A Metaphorical Study:

Exhibit A
Clean, ‘pure’ Britney
Filthy, used Britney

Exhibit B
Clean, pure Facebook
Filthy, used Facebook

Additionally, the video below sums up the absurd add-ons and apps that have turned college students’ favorite ’soc net’ into EVERYONE’S favorite ’suck net.’

Does Your Beard Hang Low?

That might be the question that some gentlemen will be asking themselves in the coming year as they prepare for the 2009 World Beard and Moustache Championships. Yes, that’s right, put on your best General Lew Wallace and stand with men from around the world who aren’t afraid to show off a furry face.

The competition was started by a local beard club in Germany in 1990, when the first World Beard and Moustache Championship was held in Höfen/Enz, Germany, a small village in the Black Forest.

I guess, when you live in the Black Forest, a well-groomed beard is something to lust after.

Anyone up for starting a betting pool? I’ve got my money on Willi Chevalier from Sigmaringen, Germany.

With his super styled partial beard which NPR’s Robert Siegel once dubbed a “hair pretzel” Willi Chevalier practically owns the partial beard freestyle category. Indeed, Willi has won this category at all WBMC’s in memory with the exception of the 2003 WBMC when he was on injured reserve following an unfortunate encounter with a power drill.

Wow power-drills and freestyle beards. I think that must spell “manly mountain man” in German. The other categories, beyond Willi’s coveted partial beard freestyle category are:

1. Full beard natural category (The most competitive category of all)
2. Garibaldi division
3. Sideburns Freestyle
4. Imperial Moustache
5. Chin and Cheek Beard Freestyle
6. Full beard style mustache

This is getting intriguing - who will win this year? Could it be Willi, Elmar, Gunner, Franz, Burke, James, or Jack? Perhaps now that Bill Richardson is out of the Presidential race he could enter and win something truly prestigious.

Head Bang For Obama

To continue my musical-propaganda train for my favorite 2008 Presidential Candidate - Sen. Barack Obama - I present “Obama-sistable” a great find by Andrew Sullivan at the Atlantic’s Daily Dish.

The fact that Obama can get these guys to rip a few guitar chords in their parents basement - well that just takes the idea of political efficacy to a whole new level for me.

So far we have a broad musical tribute going on for the O-man:

• Deadheads for Obama
• The Yes We Can celebrity tribute to Obama
• My own personal “Hope The World A Better Place” mix cd
• The Obama Girl music video
• The Bergevin Bros “Fire it Up and Ready To Go” song

And there are many more musical tributes for this campaign of hope that I’m sure I haven’t even seen yet. I wonder if this campaign has the grassroots record for the most cause related music created for one Presidential campaign?

So, far only one musician has totally failed his peers when it comes to flexing his musical muscles in the political world - DMX. According to his interview in XXL Magazine, he doesn’t even know Barack Obama is a) black or b) running for President.

Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.

You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!

Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!

Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?

Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.

I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?
Nope.

Is that why you’re not following it?
No, because it’s just—it doesn’t matter. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do. It doesn’t really make a difference. These are the last years.

But it would be pretty big if we had a first Black president. That would be huge.
I mean, I guess…. What, they gon’ give a dog a bone? There you go. Ooh, we have a Black president now. They should’ve done that shit a long time ago, we wouldn’t be in the fuckin’ position we in now. With world war coming up right now. They done fucked this shit up then give it to the Black people, “Here you take it. Take my mess.”

Right, exactly.
It’s all a fuckin’ setup. It’s all a setup. All fuckin’ bullshit. All bullshit. I don’t give a fuck about none of that.

We could have a female president also, Hillary Clinton.
I mean, either way it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. No one person is directly affected by which president, you know, so what does it matter.

Yeah, but the country is.
I guess. The president is a puppet anyway. The president don’t make no damn decisions.

The president…they don’t have that much authority basically?
Nah, never.

But Bush pretty much…
You think Bush is making fuckin’ decisions?

He did, yeah, he fucked up the country.
He act like he making decisions. He could barely speak! He could barely fuckin’ speak! Can’t be serious. He ain’t making no damn decisions.

WOW - thanks DMX. Just when we thought we were making a dent….how about you just keep to rapping, we’ll keep to politicking.

 

The Words “Pokéballs,” “Jigglypuff,” and “Squirtle” Are Ruined

By Pyecraft

Pokémon is supposed to represent an imaginary world of turn-based competitive combat… not an urban underworld of recklessly anonymous turn-based competitive sexplay.

Reports of a weekly underage Pokémon sex orgy phenomenon in Chile broke today. You couldn’t remove ANY of those keywords to make that sound any less terrible. This is one of the few cases where brand loyalty and retaining your key demographic are bad, bad things.

One paragraph sums it all up:

Rebels Without Cause

The teens call their public orgies ‘ponceo.’ On a typical Friday afternoon in the Chilean capital of Santiago, hundreds gather in a leafy urban park for a few hours of sexual experimentation. Surrounded by passing strollers, they trade partners multiple times—mostly engaging in anonymous rounds of oral sex. When the party is over, no contact information is exchanged. Same-gender interactions are commonplace, as the lines between hetero- and homosexuality are blurred, partly by the alcohol and drugs consumed, but also by shifting social mores held by Chilean youth, in contrast to their conservative parents. “Ponceo is about having fun,” says Natalia Fernandez, a 15-year-old with pink hair and a pierced chin. “This time I had seven partners.“

Seven? Come back when you mean business, Natalia. You’re the team’s weakest link.

[When questioned, Pikachu just held a silent, cold stare. Squirtle appeared to understand what we were saying, and became generally excitable]

It’s A Lovely Day For A Dumpster Dive

According to Wikipedia, dumpster diving is defined as “the practice of sifting through commercial or residential trash to find items that have been discarded by their owners, but which may be useful to the Dumpster diver.”

In the past, I have heard of dumpster diving as a means to catch recycling violators. Today, however, I came across a whole new purpose for dumpster diving from some wayward individuals online: finding lost soda caps with Pepsi or Coke points, among other things. The idea of rolling around in someone else’s garbage to find a tiny, plastic soda cap makes me a little nauseous. It also stirs up some intriguing thoughts about modern-day pirates and treasure hunts, minus the lush tropical island, crumpled up map and chest full of gold.

Look what one person found in a local dumpster while on the search for soda caps:

Wow. Now that is a find! I just have to wonder what is so precious here? The Humpty Dumpty souvenir? Or the lighter encased with an outline of male genitalia? Or - wait- the plain silver button that seemingly serves no purpose in life?

Hmmm….you just have to question what people really find valuable in this world (valuable enough to crawl through garbage in fact).

My curiosity continues as I continue to read about how one person considers dumpster diving for soda caps a family activity:

Spring is in the air! Hubby was able to get the bike out and we have a master cycle carrier for the baby to be pulled in the back. He went out twice today (to go dumpster diving of course) and found: 347 Coke points for his account and 30 Pepsi points for me! Lily loves going for the bike rides with her daddy, they stop and play at the park and usually go to the store along the way.

Seriously people, get a new hobby. Combing through someone else’s trash in your free time cannot be the best way to a) raise your kids or b) spend your weekends. Oh yeah, and note to “Lily” - find a new family - one that preferably doesn’t stop by dumpsters on the way to the park.

I guess it still remains true - “One person’s trash, is another person’s treasure. “

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Shamrock Shake Stirring Things Up… Again

By Pyecraft

In the faux category of “Oops - I accidentally became a super popular product,” I highlight the McDonald’s Shamrock Shake. After a prolonged absence from North American lips for five years, the time has come for its return @ your local McD’s in the month of March.

What? Ok. First off - this shammy shake has been 100% buzz and word of mouth, as McD’s advertising hasn’t registered a blip on my radar. But, just because a tree fell in the forest and no one heard it doesn’t mean it didn’t fall:

Once upon a time, McDonald’s decided to celebrate St. Patrick’s day by offering a special, seasonal shake that would of course be - green. Its composed of your standard vanilla shake + green food coloring + minty extracts. So, it tastes quite minty.

In the 80s and early 90s, the Shamrock Shake would be available leading up to St. Patty’s day and sometimes stick around for the month of March. Here is the ad you may have seen if you were paying attention:

Ahem. Yes. But the absurdity continues, as for a short while, there even existed a character named Uncle O’ Grimacey (big purple Grimace’s uncle) in McDonaldLand. Living in Ireland, Uncle O’ Grimacey would come over and visit Grimace for one month of each year to promote the Shamrock Shake. Here’s his ultra rare TV spot:

We do not know what we have until its gone, apparently. With the Shamrock Shake being discontinued for a few years, fond, minty memories and the social media environment have done what they can to keep the spirit of Uncle O’ Gee and the Shamrock Shake alive. None of these sites are affiliated with McD’s.

Shamrock Shake Sightings
Theories on the origins of Uncle O’ G
The SUPER well done Quest For The Shamrock Shake page
The Irish Republican Army Demands Year-Round Shamrock Shakes
And here’s one of the 47 Facebook Groups for the cause
(You’ll notice that Uncle O’ G has a profile and has posted on the wall)

After calling a few days in advance to make sure my local McD’s was rockin’ the Shamrock Shake, I went with two other co-workers to try it out. Almost as if on cue, when we asked for the Shamrock Shake, the guy behind the counter gave a ridiculously devilish laugh (and really weirded us out). He laughed at all three of us, each time the creepiness of the situation mounting. It was like he knew our fates from that moment onward. One of the shakes we received wasn’t a Shamrock Shake, we had to exchange it…

Three Shamrock Shakes in a row - how do you mess up that order?

Maybe you don’t. Was he trying to save us from it? What does he know that we don’t? It tasted great in our opinion. The thought of getting another one excites me, and I want to learn more about it. But I don’t - know - why.

Maybe I’ll find out on St. Patty’s Day.

Winnie The Pooh With A Vengeance

It is a story as old as time - a hungry bear gets caught with its hands in the honey jar. But, this time, Winnie the Pooh, is getting a jail sentence for his overzealous behavior, in addition to a new found appreciation for turbo-folk.

Macedonian court convicts bear of stealing honey 

SKOPJE (Reuters) - A Macedonian court convicted a bear of theft and damage for stealing honey from a beekeeper who fought off the attacks with thumping “turbo-folk” music.

“I tried to distract the bear with lights and music because I heard bears are afraid of that,” Zoran Kiseloski told top-selling daily Dnevnik after the year-long case of the bear vs. the beekeeper ended in the beekeeper’s favour.

“So I bought a generator, lit up the area and put on songs of (Serbian ‘turbo-folk’ star) Ceca.”

The bear stayed away for a few weeks, but came back when the generator ran out of power and the music fell silent, Kiseloski said, adding, “it attacked the beehives again.”

A court in the city of Bitola found the bear guilty, and since it had no owner and belonged to a protected species, ordered the state to pay the 140,000 denars (1,726 pounds) damage it caused to the hives.